Conventional thinking:  I must always be in control.  I must keep a tight grip on everything in my life in order to be successful.

Contrarian thinking:  Losing control will help you relax, may boost your creativity, and will do wonders for human relations.

If you have an A-type personality it may be difficult for you to let go of your tight control on your job, your business, or even your personal life.  Losing control may seem counter-intuitive, but it may have just the opposite effect of what you might expect. 

Many beginners in sports that require balance, such as snowboarding or surfing experience this first hand.  In the beginning of their learning process their intuitive reaction is to control the board.  This makes their muscles tense and as a result they are not able to ‘feel’ the board and adjust accordingly.  Being tense and fearful of a wipe-out is one of the most effective ways to assure that it will happen.  Once beginners learn to relax, and let go of the need to ‘control’ the board, they feel much more at easy with the flow of the board and paradoxically end up achieving true control of it.  It is totally counter-intuitive, but once learned, life on the slopes or waves become much more enjoyable and predictable.

The same is true in business and in life.  If you have a strong need to be in control you will most likely be tense all the time.  Besides being bad for your health, a constant state of tension does not stimulate the type of creativity that is sometimes required to reach major breakthroughs.

If you let go of the control, you will come across as being much more relaxed.  This opens up opportunities for better relations with co-workers, superiors, employees and even family members.  You might be more willing to listen to their ideas and give them a chance to show their ability to get things done even without your constant supervision.  Learning to delegate and only controlling critical tasks or milestones will make you a much more effective manager.

Losing control does not mean being irresponsible.  You must still be responsible for the outcome of whatever you are involved with.  Losing control means not checking every task, not being in every meeting, and not approving every decision no matter how trivial.  Losing control is about delegating and letting others feel just as committed as you are.  If they know you are always checking on them, they will be involved, but not committed.

To get others to commit, let them have some control.  You will achieve better results and become a much more effective person.

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